Awareness or Understanding? Finding The Courage To Be A Survivor

Vol 3, Issue 1

At any moment of any given day I can go online and find support groups for any illness or cause.  There are MILLIONS of them.  Chances are, each one I will find has all kinds of artwork, clever sayings and symbols that will direct me to take a look at any issue at hand.  If the cause you are trying to bring to the public’s attention is complex and difficult to understand, it’s even more difficult to raise awareness and bring attention to your cause that is positive and productive.

Fibromyalgia Awareness is one of those very complex causes.  Because no two patients have the same exact symptoms and FMS symptoms are so numerous and vary so much in intensity, I often describe FMS patients, treatments and the impact on their lives to be as unique as a fingerprint.

Not long ago, I happened to come across a comment under a piece of artwork supporting Fibromyalgia Awareness.  This is what was stated:

All of us with Fibromyalgia are aware of what we go through.  It's the rest of you who need to learn about how we suffer on a daily basis.

As I read this comment, something about it bugged me.  I mean it really unsettled me and I wasn’t sure why.  Was it that the statement was somewhat defensive or accusatory?    Was I feeling anger?  Sadness?  Confusion?  I was so unsure!  I couldn’t figure it out!

I don’t mean to be judgmental of the writer.  The writer had their reasons and feelings for phrasing this statement in this manner.  There is no right or wrong in the statement.  We are all entitled to our opinions and our feelings. Feelings are never “wrong”, they are just feelings.  Emotion.  It’s what we DO with those feelings that can be considered appropriate or inappropriate behavior.

One could ask themselves:  “Whom was the writer referring to when they stated the rest of you?”  Obviously it meant everyone without FMS, but could it be a family member who hurt them?  A friend lost because of the impact of the disease?  A spouse who left them behind?

Then I found myself asking another question: “What was the writer trying to accomplish?”   If it was awareness, it wasn’t going to be received well.  So perhaps they were not trying to accomplish anything.  Maybe the writer was just hurting and this was the only way they could express themselves at that time.

As I sat pondering all these questions, the original feeling I had kept pestering me.   Why does this statement bother me so much?  It was literally driving me nuts.  No, I’m not obsessive compulsive, but this was really getting to me.  Then it hit me.

I lived in silence for a period of time after being diagnosed.  I tried to hide my illness and live a normal life.  But the problem was I tried to live the life I had before my wreck.  I was trying to be just like everyone else.  But I wasn’t like everyone else anymore.  I was no longer a member of the “Healthy People Society” or as I have come to call it, the HPS.  I use that acronym because it fits so many different circumstances and still applies.  For example, I’ve encountered the “Haughty People Society”, the “Hurtful People Society” and the “Hopelessly Pathetically Selfish.”  That’s just for starters.  I’ve had many different encounters with HPS’s when it comes to my disease.

It is a fact that FMS patients live with chronic pain every day.  If it isn’t pain, it may be the relentless fatigue, or migraines, or nausea, or IBS, or sleep deprivation, or severe depression, even panic attacks and medication sensitivities.  All these different symptoms combine to make a very difficult disease even more difficult to manage.  My point being it’s always something, and its always every day. 

It was clear after my diagnosis that the days of “just push through the pain and do it” were forever gone.  I can push to a degree, but not without paying for it later.   Instead of pushing through the pain, I would have times where I was forced to change my plans at a moments notice.   Specifically, changing plans at the most inconvenient, embarrassing, once in a lifetime or turn on a dime moments.  Maybe it’s a migraine attack, or any one of the numerous other sister conditions that this disease brings with it.  Whatever the source may be, rest assured, if the conditions at that moment is bad enough that I have to change plans, it means I stop and rest or I risk being laid out on the pavement. 

It took a long time to wrap my head around that fact.  I grieved and hid from the world for awhile, just so I could avoid being put in that position.  I was so depressed and lost I shut myself away for 2 years and told myself it was safer than putting myself out there for the world to reject.

But then I realized, unless they find a cure, I’m going to have this disease for the rest of my life.  Is this how I decide to handle it?   Me.  The daughter of the most independent paraplegic anyone could have the honor to meet.  The guy who rather than miss a day of work, drove my sisters car using a crutch to work the gas and brake pedals when his handicapped equipped vehicle was in the shop for repair.  Possibly the most determined man I’ve ever known.  Would his daughter become known as a “VICTIM”!?!

NO!   TOTALLY AND UTTERLY UNACCEPTABLE! 

Things would simply have to change in my life.

Now, I’m sympathetic to the writer of the original statement.  I’ve felt the bitterness of lost friends and the rejection of people I wanted to share time with, but because of a form of HPS the relationships could not survive.  I’ve experienced feelings of not being “good enough.”  I’ve grieved HARD over the loss of my career and the hopes and dreams that I had planned to enjoy at this stage in my life. 

Used by Permission of Artist/Writer:  Manuela McPhee

FMS certainly wasn’t part of my midlife crisis!  I was suppose to enjoy the freedom of having grown kids!  Or deal with empty nest syndrome, or share time with my sons and their girlfriends so I would be prepared for the day my boys would marry and have children of their own.  I wanted to travel with my husband.  Just the two of us!

It was very clear that unless I made those near to me aware of my disease, I would continue to have problems maintaining relationships and I would continue to be lonely.  Which gets back to the subject at hand.  What bothered me about that statement?

THIS:

"The implication that those with FMS are DOOMED to SUFFER the rest of their lives as HELPLESS VICTIMS."

I completely and totally disagree with that conclusion with every fiber of my being!  This simple fact remains:

"If we do nothing.....nothing will be the result!"

My fellow FMS Survivors, how will the world ever understand us if we do not show them courage and strength in the face of chronic illnesses and devastating pain?  No one listens to whiners and victims, but they WILL stand up and take notice of those who survive the pain with dignity and grace.  Choose to be a survivor and never let the pain define who you are!  We have a gracious and loving GOD.  He will give you the courage you need to endure.  This is one of my favorite passages:

"I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jer. 29:11

In closing, this video is my story of how I eventually rebounded and fought my way back to a new life by God’s Grace.  This was my childhood dream.   I had never pursued it as I never had the time or gave myself the permission.  Had I not been afflicted with this disease, I might never have pursued this dream and had such wonderful experiences with Filly.  

The lesson here?  NEVER give up on your dreams!

Have a blessed life…..be a blessing to others!

Bobbie

© Robynn “Bobbie” Dinse / Bobbie’s World Blogs

Please note that this short story is copyrighted and should not be reprinted in any form without permission from the author

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Thank you!
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The Positive and The Negative….Bearing Our Cross

Vol. 2, Issue 2

Hello My Dear Friends!

I hope you are all doing well!  Now that we are in mid summer, I’ve been enjoying a reprieve from the endless irritation of cold air, bitter wind chills and all those other horrid things that winter weather causes, which produce very real pain for me. Yes, the disease is still there, but at least it is not affecting me (with the exception of my migraines) and I have been able to get out and spend wonderful days with my horses, my beloved family and enjoy the fellowship of new friends!

Which brings me to the title of today's blog.  In the past year, our family has been through some very real trials and tribulations.  We all have our crosses to bear and sometimes I think that we all get to a point where we look up and wonder, “How much more can I take?”  Well, I’m learning that apparently, I can take a lot.  There is a passage in the Bible that I stumbled across (or rather I like the phrase, God turned the pages of my Bible) and it is quite relevant to the situation.

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

How is this relevant? Well, I believe that even when all around us we are surrounded by fear, ugliness, mean or unfair treatment, the moment we allow ourselves to take our focus off of the things mentioned in this passage, we open the door ajar for Satan to get in and poison our thinking. We get bitter, angry, and critical of others. Then we become insecure and ultimately, very unhappy.  We may start to feel the need to control things or more important, the negativity becomes our main focus.  Then what happens?  We take our eyes off of what God’s plan is for our lives and try to make it on our own.

Well, I believe that we are never the One that is truly in control.  God gives us choices in our lives.  Sometimes the right choice isn’t black and white, we don’t know which choice to make, but if we make our choices knowing that we carry our cross by God’s GRACE, that HE is there all along holding us up, when the choices are not clear, He will guide us to where we are suppose to be.

I believe that my journey over the last 18 months has been truly one of God preparing our family for something that we don’t necessarily understand; at least not at this time.  As time goes by, we will look back and be able to see what it is that He is trying to teach us, or perhaps wants to show us. Perhaps not.  Perhaps it isn’t about us at all.  Perhaps it is about HOW we carry our cross, how we handle the trials that come our way.  I don’t have all the answers.  I don’t know how we will manage, what will become of my husband’s health, or my own.  I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but the LORD doesn’t want me to know that.  He wants me to trust in Him….TODAY.  He wants us all to look to Him at this very moment, each and every moment in time,  one by one. The Bible tells us:

Mark 8:34-38 - "If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For who ever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me and for the Gospel, will save it.  What good is it for a man to gain the whole world yet forfeit his soul?  Or what can a man give for exchange for his soul?  If anyone is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His Father's glory with the holy angels"

Our time on earth is our time of Grace.  I tend to believe that life is a series of peaks and valleys, good times and bad.  We just need to remember that what really matters is our Soul.  While still on this earth, I have faith that the Lord will keep His promises and care for us as He does the lilies of the field and the birds of the air.  I do know that when my time comes and I return home to be with Him in heaven, I can look back and say, “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

I’ve thought a lot of my father lately and the many times he gave me very simple and concrete advice.  He was a wonderful man, I miss him so much and He was and still is my hero.  If anyone had a good excuse to be angry or bitter, it would be a person who became paraplegic at the age of 15.  But that wasn't his way.   He overcame many crosses of his own, but when he passed away well into his 60's, it was very clear that he lived his life looking at the positive things and never let the negativity of others stop him or prevent him from enjoying his life.

So my message today would be that no matter what struggles you carry, remember that you are never alone in this world.  My husband and I have a rough road ahead of us because of our health and the consequences it puts on us financially, we know that well.  But we also know that God has put wonderful people in our path to lift us up when we are down, and more important, that He has the plan and it is always for our own good and to God be the glory!

For all my friends who fight chronic illnesses, don’t give up hope.   Don’t worry about those that would bully you or don’t understand.  Look to the higher things in life.   There is a purpose for you.  No matter what we must endure, God always has a plan that is much better than our own.

Many blessings to you and it is my hope that you all enjoy the rest of the summer!

Bobbie

© Robynn “Bobbie” Dinse / Bobbie’s World Blogs

Please note that this short story is copyrighted and should not be reprinted in any form without permission from the author

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Horses, Friends, Teammates and Dedication. Our USEDC Success Story

Originally Written:  July 22, 2009

Vol. 1, Issue 7

Welcome back, Everyone! 

I hope you are all well and enjoying your summer!  I’ve been away from my writing lately as I’ve been out of town and recovering from our exciting trip to the United States Equestrian Drill Competition - the National Championships held near Lindale, Texas.

Since the beginning of February, our team members have braved freezing temps, walked through pastures to catch horses in sub-freezing wind chills, loaded them before we changed our minds, then headed to some nearby arena, (hopefully indoors) to get to drill practices so we would be “up to speed” for Nationals. Eventually, Old Man Winter would say his goodbyes and the cold wind would give way to high heat, humidity and sunburn.  Our ever-faithful horses performed like troopers.  They probably adjusted faster to the changes and the physical demands with far less complaints than we did.

Cold temperatures are my worst enemy since my diagnoses with FMS.  There were some practices that all I could do was sit in the chair with a blanket and pray that when I got back up, my muscles would actually do what I told them to do.  Riding in those temperatures for me was out of the question.  Those times were strictly for Peyton and done out of love for him.  I would watch my son ride from the sidelines.  On these cold practice days, I would pay dearly the next day.  The knowledge of hot temperatures just around the corner kept my hope alive and I persevered.

Why do I put my body through this?  Well that’s easy.  I love my son dearly and I would do anything I could for him.  I have a deep passion for horses and have all of my life.  Truth be told, I love this team.  Some of the members are so dear to my heart I couldn’t even begin to tell them how I feel.  I just don’t have the words.   So I keep that inside, like a safe treasure only for me to hold.  Many of the veterans of this team I consider mentors, not just to me, but true examples for new riders of all ages.

This year there was a lot of excitement, new friendships were made and great times were had.  While there have been groundbreaking changes and thrilling successes, it hasn’t been an easy year by any means.  It has been hard for many of the people on the team.  Some members have been overworked, some are riding with injuries, and all of us were struggling with our children's church programs, school schedules and conflicts with performance schedules.  There were times when tempers were short, but the teams pulled together as always, to do what they do best, ride the drill.

I joined our drill team in 2005 when I was invited to ride in a parade late in the season. I loved it so much that the next year I purchased my horse and continued riding with the team in parades when I could.  It was that next season that Peyton also fell in love with my horse Filly and with a little encouragement he joined the youth drill team.  It only took one practice and he was hooked, just like his mom.

Since I rode in that first parade, there have been many changes in our club.  I have watched a team that was struggling to get enough people to win parades, loose a few teammates, and then come back strong the next season with 10, then 12 drill riders, and as of now we have 16 official riders, with several riders lined up eager to fill backup positions in a moments notice.  We have had to turn people away because there just has not been the room. 

We have also had fabulous blessings.  This team was the first ever to win two back-to-back National Championships.  In addition, the team won three consecutive Rodeo Division 1st Place Titles, and two consecutive Ride of Champions, quest for the SuperCup wins!   We have come a long way in those five years.  A team once severed almost in two, pulled together and came back stronger than ever.   Why?  I think it’s love and respect.  Love for the horses, love for the drill.  Respect for each other.  I believe that is the secret to the success of this team.  They rise and fall TOGETHER!

We added a youth team last year so our kids could ride instead of sit and watch their mothers and grandmothers compete.  They did well that first year with 8 members at Nationals and 10 at Regionals.  All along there would be sacrifices.  Equipment is expensive, uniforms and hats are costly, gas was almost $4.50 a gallon and pulling a trailer full of horses all over the country doesn’t get you the best gas mileage.  There were hotel rooms to pay for, stall fees, shavings and in some cases you had to pay just to get in to the event you were riding.  Meals on the road add up and take a chunk out of your pocket book.  But, every child deserves something to pursue.  I loved every moment I spent with my family as we drove to events and watched performances.  I did a little riding myself.  Last year I carried the team flag during grand entry at a local rodeo and had the time of my life.

This season [2009], we have been blessed with so many eager young children that we were able to put together a youth novice team of 8 and a youth advanced team of 12.  These children are the future of drill.  They will be the ones who keep the sport alive when we are too old and broken to perform at such a demanding level.

Our Novice team came in an impressive 3rd place at Nationals.  The Advanced Youth team captured the Advanced Youth Division Championship that eluded them last year by only a few points.  There were tears of joy, exhaustion and pride from both parents and children.  This is a family sport and by the time you get this far into competition, well, you become somewhat of a family.  I’ll never forget the smiles on the little faces of the 7 year old girls as they proudly carried their ribbons to mom and dad.  I still tear up when I see the three ribbons won by my son’s team, and I think of all the other teams that worked just as hard and are just as deserving of that respect.

While I would have loved to ride with these wonderful ladies on the adult team, I know that my disease will not be conducive to this sport.   That is okay with me.   It was in the beginning and it still is okay.  It’s okay for the same reasons.  Love.  Love for the horses and the sport.  I’m perfectly content to ride my horse on my own and enjoy the parades. I cheer the team on from the sidelines, just as the rest of the families do, and I love it just as much.  I also get tremendous joy out of assisting the team as part of their ground crew.  From water, to holding horses, to switching out tack, you name it I’m there to help out!  I want these teams to succeed!  If I can help in some small part, it is my honor for these wonderful families.

It is my hope that someday my disease will somehow be put in check so I can compete and enjoy that same thrill and excitement of success.  But, until that time comes, there is enough love in my heart to go around and be thrilled for all those out there giving their best and leaving their heart and soul out there in the arena dirt!

See you all next year!

Bobbie

[Writer’s note:  As of June 2011, the ladies team has won the Ride of Champions three out of the four years it has been in existence.   They hold three Division 1 National Titles and 3 Rodeo Division Championships.  The youth team returned to capture the Advanced Youth Division 6 Championship again in 2010.   The new youth team, a mixture of a few advanced and a few very young riders received ribbons and placed very well considering the age and experience they have had.]

© Robynn “Bobbie” Dinse / Bobbie’s World Blogs

Please note that this short story is copyrighted and should not be reprinted in any form without permission from the author.   

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Sorry, I Just Can't Make It Today

Originally Written: June 7, 2009

Vol. 1, Issue 4

Good Day, Friends! 

Today I’m touching on a couple of different topics that surround FMS.

1. Problems maintaining a schedule.

2. People who respond to our illness in cruel and insensitive ways.

We have all encountered people that say horrible insensitive things because they don’t, understand or believe that you have a serious illness. Some of these people may even be in our own family. They probably think “We look normal on the outside so how can we possibly be so sick that we need to be bedridden?” Or, “How can you possibly be unable to work? You say you are in pain, but we can’t see it so how can it be real?”

To us it is very real. Sometimes our pain is so bad we can’t think clearly or even get out of bed. The question these people constantly ask is, “How can we be fine one day and on the verge of hospitalization the next?”

For us it is very simple. We suffer, most often in silence, because it is easier to keep it to ourselves than it is to explain our struggles, pain and loss, just to have someone respond insensitively.

One of my biggest obstacles with FMS and migraines (my other major disabling condition) is not being able to schedule things in advance. I can never be certain that I won’t have to cancel at the last minute because of a flare or a migraine. I know that we all have been in this circumstance and it can be very frustrating. Especially if the person you are canceling on doesn’t understand your situation.

There have been times that I’ve rescheduled appointments more times than I can count. Now, if I cancel on my headache specialist? No problem. Cancel on my pain specialist? Again, there is no problem. It’s to be expected. Neither of my doctors want me to drive during a migraine or while I’m taking medication for breakthrough pain.

My biggest problem is always with the dentist. Dental appointments 9 times out of 10 trigger a bad migraine for me. All that buzzing around in my mouth or even just a routine cleaning sends me home sick. Many times just the anticipation causes enough stress to trigger a migraine, resulting in another rescheduled appointment. Of course they don’t get to see me with my head in the toilet so to them it just a bunch of drama to get out of keeping my appointment.

My last dentist had what I called the appointment Nazi’s. They called over and over and over and over to reschedule. If I had a morning appointment and had to cancel, they said, “Well why don’t you come in this afternoon?” Okay people. Most of us with severe chronic migraines know that you’re pretty much worthless for 24 hours AFTER the headache breaks. At least I am. My triptan makes me feel like I’ve run a marathon and the last thing I feel like doing is getting up, taking a shower and going to have some person dig around in my mouth, just to start the headache back up again.


These young girls just didn’t get it. No matter how many times and ways I tried to forewarn or explain. My last appointment I had to cancel they had the audacity to tell me to either come in or find someone to fill my appointment. I was furious. My husband was also outraged and he came home from work, picked me up, we went into the dentist’s office so they could see just how sick I was. My husband then proceeded to tell them they could go pound sand before they would EVER treat anyone in our family again. They lost four patients that day. The dentist, which I had seen since the age of 12, apologized profusely and said that I could just call on a day where I felt up to it and they would fit me in. I thought that sounded like a great plan. So we headed home, all the while I was struggling to keep the contents of my stomach IN my stomach. I assumed we had reached an agreement, although my husband stood firm that he and the boys would never go back to that clinic again.

A few days later I received a letter in the mail saying that they had the highest standard of care for their patients and because of this they were dropping me as a patient. HUH? What was that suppose to mean? Some poor little appointment clerk probably got a firm talking to and when I didn’t call within 3 days, she decided I could care less about my teeth and that I was not “good enough” for their practice. So, in total, the clinic lost a total of 5 patients in 3 days time due to one appointment clerk’s behavior. The dentist doesn’t get a pass either; after all, he signed the letter.

To this day I regret not responding to that letter. I was so upset that I was afraid I would get into a screaming match that would result in me needing to ask for forgiveness on many levels. So I let it go. I will not mention his name. I firmly believe I would be wrong to do so, as it would violate my Christian principles. The Bible says, “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.”

We all have to struggle with feeling semi-normal one day, then the next like we are near death. I try not to schedule morning appointments if possible because that tends to be the hardest part of my day; it is for most FMS patients. I don’t make commitments to serve on the board of my drill team; I always make sure there is a backup for any drill position I may ride…which only started this year [2009]. I have learned that I must “come out of the closet” so to speak and tell my friends that I have this disease. Some of them get it, some of them don’t. But that is their problem, not mine. It goes to their character and anyone who chooses to elevate themselves above another people on the basis of health is discriminatory and cruel. I know, those are strong words, even judgmental. God tells us “Judge not lest ye be judged.” But, we can see a person’s actions and if those actions fly in the face of God’s command to love one another, I think a little extra caution is advisable before opening your heart to someone like that.

My friends keep up the fight. Defend your right to be treated like a human being even though you fight this terrible disease. Remember never to give up your dreams, and never, EVER let someone else make you think less of who you are because of Fibromyalgia or any other invisible illness.

Have a blessed week!


Bobbie

© Robynn “Bobbie” Dinse / Bobbie’s World Blogs

Please note that this short story is copyrighted and should not be reprinted in any form without permission from the author

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Thank you!

Life Doesn't End When You Have A Disability

Originally Written:  May 31, 2009

Vol. 1, Issue 2

Hi Everybody,

Today I wanted to share with you how my evening went.  Tonight we had youth team drill practice.  We have a rodeo coming up this weekend and Nationals are coming up the end of June.  I managed to stay on the horse and actually remembered all of the different moves in the drill.  Needless to say I had a wonderful time and for a few hours forgot all about this horrible disease.

As you know, I suffer from severe Fibromyalgia.  I have good days and I have bad days.  Today was one of those good days.  You couldn't tell the difference between a healthy person walking down the street or me!  My passion since I was a little girl has always been horses.  When I was young I collected the Breyer model horses because mom refused to let me put a pony in the back yard.  Go figure!

Anyway, my son and I ride with a local drill team.  Since my disease is so severe, I cannot ride on the drill team with the rest of the ladies.  On good days I can ride in the parades and I can help out with ground support during competitions and rodeos.  Where am I going with this?  Well, since 2005 I've been trying to control my horse at a lope and still be able to walk the next day.  I've managed to accomplish one of the two...guess which one!  Unfortunately, it’s only during the warm season and only on days that my Fibromyalgia is in agreement.   You all know that FMS has a mind of it’s own and what it decides to do ALWAYS takes lead role.

This year I have been asked to ride with the novice youth team in their competition this June.  I was elated but cautiously optimistic.  After explaining that there was a significant need to have a back up, just in case I was too weak on the day I needed to ride, I was told "No problem"!   So, my life long dream may finally be coming true.  Not only do I own a horse, I may actually be able to ride with the team in the drill.  I will be filling in this weekend at a rodeo, since there are 3 riders that cannot attend.  My first real live performance!  I'm both excited and terrified at the same time.  I'm sure I will be sore afterwards, but the more I ride, the less severe the pain is afterward.

It is very exciting for me and I hope that I can give others with this terrible disease hope that if they can find the right mix of medication and therapy, there lives don't have to be over.

I'm 41 years old.  I refuse to let this disease end my hopes and dreams.  Just because I may have to slow down and rest, I still have the God given right to dream and strive to reach the goals I have set for myself.

Have a blessed week everyone.  Remember to be thankful for your health.  We all don't have healthy strong bodies to lean on and even the strongest of people can have their health removed from them with one doctor’s visit.  Don’t waste your good days!   Rejoice in every day that you have and get out in the world and see God’s beauty!  It’s all around you.  All you have to do is open your eyes and your hearts and you will see the blessings that are there for you!

Bobbie

© Robynn “Bobbie” Dinse / Bobbie’s World Blogs

Please note that this short story is copyrighted and should not be reprinted in any form without permission from the author

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A Word About Unseen Illness and Disability

Originally Written:  May 30, 2009

Vol. 1, Issue 1


Hello Cruel World!  Just kidding, welcome to my first personal blog!

Today I want to talk a little bit about unseen illnesses.  The people closest to me know that I suffer from severe chronic migraines and severe Fibromyalgia.  When I was 34, I was in a really bad car accident that resulted in neck surgery. I now live with a titanium plate in my neck to help support the vertebrae that were fused together as a result of damage from the impact.  I recovered from the accident just fine, but then about a year later I noticed a sharp increase in my migraines and a lot of all over body pain and severe fatigue.  I went to my doctor and after extensive testing was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.

Many people don't know what Fibromyalgia is and because it isn't something you can see like an amputated leg or a disfiguring injury, people won't know that you have it unless you tell them.  What I have found is that the fatigue and pain slows me down so much that it does get mistaken for laziness or a lack of drive, which is both unfortunate and unfair.  I have good days and bad days.  On my good days I can function for a short period of time almost as normal as everyone else.  On bad days I may not even be able to get out of bed. 

On the up side, I try to make the most of each day and on my good days I thank God and treat them as precious moments.  They are making advances all the time in the treatment of this unfortunate disease and it is my hope that someday they will find a cure.  At the moment, there is no cure.  You treat the symptoms and hope for the best.  I think my biggest peeve is when someone says, "If I can do it, I don't see why you can't."  Well world it's like this.  If I only get three hours of sleep or push my body past my personal limits, I can end up hospitalized. Or at the very least in bed for a day or two, perhaps weeks, and maybe even have to take a steroid dose pack to control the pain and regain my ground.  Everyone has limits and we need to respect those differences.  God did not pull out the cookie cutter from his kitchen drawer when He created man and woman.  Not everyone was made the same and we all struggle with different problems, be them physical, mental or family issues, we all have hardships!  A healthy friendship is based on respect.  Without that respect, the friendship cannot flourish and grow deeper.  So before you judge someone because they cannot do what you do, perhaps you should ask yourself if there is more to the situation than meets the eye.

So my quote for the day is from the Bible. "Love one another as I have loved you."  The next time you open your mouth to say something about another person, first ask yourself:  "Do I know what is really going on in this person's life?  Am I being overly critical?  What is the benefit of my comment?  Am I lifting this person up or tearing them down?   Is it possible that I feel that I am better than this person and by stepping on their feelings, I affirm myself?" Hmmm…..food for thought.   I hope the right choice is made for the benefit of everyone involved.

Have a great weekend!

Bobbie

© Robynn “Bobbie” Dinse / Bobbie’s World Blogs

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