The Positive and The Negative….Bearing Our Cross

Vol. 2, Issue 2

Hello My Dear Friends!

I hope you are all doing well!  Now that we are in mid summer, I’ve been enjoying a reprieve from the endless irritation of cold air, bitter wind chills and all those other horrid things that winter weather causes, which produce very real pain for me. Yes, the disease is still there, but at least it is not affecting me (with the exception of my migraines) and I have been able to get out and spend wonderful days with my horses, my beloved family and enjoy the fellowship of new friends!

Which brings me to the title of today's blog.  In the past year, our family has been through some very real trials and tribulations.  We all have our crosses to bear and sometimes I think that we all get to a point where we look up and wonder, “How much more can I take?”  Well, I’m learning that apparently, I can take a lot.  There is a passage in the Bible that I stumbled across (or rather I like the phrase, God turned the pages of my Bible) and it is quite relevant to the situation.

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

How is this relevant? Well, I believe that even when all around us we are surrounded by fear, ugliness, mean or unfair treatment, the moment we allow ourselves to take our focus off of the things mentioned in this passage, we open the door ajar for Satan to get in and poison our thinking. We get bitter, angry, and critical of others. Then we become insecure and ultimately, very unhappy.  We may start to feel the need to control things or more important, the negativity becomes our main focus.  Then what happens?  We take our eyes off of what God’s plan is for our lives and try to make it on our own.

Well, I believe that we are never the One that is truly in control.  God gives us choices in our lives.  Sometimes the right choice isn’t black and white, we don’t know which choice to make, but if we make our choices knowing that we carry our cross by God’s GRACE, that HE is there all along holding us up, when the choices are not clear, He will guide us to where we are suppose to be.

I believe that my journey over the last 18 months has been truly one of God preparing our family for something that we don’t necessarily understand; at least not at this time.  As time goes by, we will look back and be able to see what it is that He is trying to teach us, or perhaps wants to show us. Perhaps not.  Perhaps it isn’t about us at all.  Perhaps it is about HOW we carry our cross, how we handle the trials that come our way.  I don’t have all the answers.  I don’t know how we will manage, what will become of my husband’s health, or my own.  I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but the LORD doesn’t want me to know that.  He wants me to trust in Him….TODAY.  He wants us all to look to Him at this very moment, each and every moment in time,  one by one. The Bible tells us:

Mark 8:34-38 - "If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For who ever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me and for the Gospel, will save it.  What good is it for a man to gain the whole world yet forfeit his soul?  Or what can a man give for exchange for his soul?  If anyone is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His Father's glory with the holy angels"

Our time on earth is our time of Grace.  I tend to believe that life is a series of peaks and valleys, good times and bad.  We just need to remember that what really matters is our Soul.  While still on this earth, I have faith that the Lord will keep His promises and care for us as He does the lilies of the field and the birds of the air.  I do know that when my time comes and I return home to be with Him in heaven, I can look back and say, “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

I’ve thought a lot of my father lately and the many times he gave me very simple and concrete advice.  He was a wonderful man, I miss him so much and He was and still is my hero.  If anyone had a good excuse to be angry or bitter, it would be a person who became paraplegic at the age of 15.  But that wasn't his way.   He overcame many crosses of his own, but when he passed away well into his 60's, it was very clear that he lived his life looking at the positive things and never let the negativity of others stop him or prevent him from enjoying his life.

So my message today would be that no matter what struggles you carry, remember that you are never alone in this world.  My husband and I have a rough road ahead of us because of our health and the consequences it puts on us financially, we know that well.  But we also know that God has put wonderful people in our path to lift us up when we are down, and more important, that He has the plan and it is always for our own good and to God be the glory!

For all my friends who fight chronic illnesses, don’t give up hope.   Don’t worry about those that would bully you or don’t understand.  Look to the higher things in life.   There is a purpose for you.  No matter what we must endure, God always has a plan that is much better than our own.

Many blessings to you and it is my hope that you all enjoy the rest of the summer!

Bobbie

© Robynn “Bobbie” Dinse / Bobbie’s World Blogs

Please note that this short story is copyrighted and should not be reprinted in any form without permission from the author

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Thank you!

Dave Ryan - Think Before You Speak

Originally Written:  Oct. 20, 2009

Vol. 1, Issue 8

Dear Friends,

Earlier this month [Oct. 2009] an on air radio personality, Dave Ryan, Twittered a comment that "People With Fibromyalgia Should be Shot". I would like to stress that he has since apologized; however, I have developed an unexpected resolve to bringing awareness to FMS and other invisible illnesses. I hope to help educate the healthy world how these diseases can impact a person’s life. So, in this blog I have included a copy of my email response to him, as well as two links, one is to Jen Reynolds' video response to Dave Ryan and Clear Channel Communications, as well as a link to my video, which exposes my story to the world.

Let's just hope that more people are compassionate and understanding and I don't find myself shot the next time I leave a plane! My last flight was horrific and I had to be helped down the skyway.

On a side note - Dave, thank you for the apology. I should also thank you for bringing attention to a disease that is so commonly misunderstood. Perhaps now people will think twice when they hear the word Fibromyalgia, and instead of scoffing, they will stop and be thankful for their blessings of good health.

In that regard, here are the links to the videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLsqxImKI5c
(Jen's video)


and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNKj7hmTgX8
(my video response)

Finally, this is my personal email to Dave Ryan.

Dear Dave,

I would like to share a little about myself with you. I've heard a lot about you and thought maybe you should learn a little about me.

I'm presently a member of an all ladies drill team. Well, to be more specific, I'm a small part of a 2 time/back to back National Championship Drill team. My son is a member of their Advanced Youth team, which also won the Youth National Championship this last June in Tyler, TX. 

Since I cannot ride hard on back-to-back days because of my health, in fairness to the team I have chosen to provide ground support at large competitions and I ride with the team in parades to help raise money for the trips to competitions. I'm always there in the background, providing support to all the ladies who have accomplished what no other drill team has EVER done.
Three weeks ago, my son and I rode a 16 mile trail ride fundraiser called "Hooves for the Cure" to raise funds for breast cancer research. There would be two different groups, a two hour ride and a five hour ride. We took the long ride. We were told to go 16 miles in 5 hours we would have to "trot" a little. Well, that was an understatement. We had to flat out lope and gallop a large portion of the ride. We started out with 38, many dropped out in the middle, but not me, not my son. We stayed and rode the whole 16 miles, walk, trot or gallop. I was going to finish it for the memory of a former drill team member, in fact the horse I ride once belonged to her before she died from cancer the year I joined. Also, we rode for a former co-worker who survived breast cancer twice and now is 10 years down the road and still cancer free. We rode fast and hard, the greatest way to ride! I loved every moment of it and let myself feel the freedom of riding across the countryside with the wind in my hair. At the moment I felt truly alive, free, and perhaps pure joy.

All the while on this trail ride, I was thinking wouldn't it be nice if something like this was done for research of FMS/CFS/Lupus? All the invisible illnesses that we still don't know how to cure?
You need to know even more about me. I am a survivor as well. Not of breast cancer, but I have survived a serious car accident that took everything away from me in 2002. I had a severe neck injury and now I have a plate fused in my neck. I thought once I was done with that surgery I could get back to living, but that wasn’t the case. There was this disease that I had no knowledge of. Two years later, I developed FMS as a result of that devastating auto wreck. I lost almost everything, my career, my health, my friendships at that time.
I rebuilt a new life in it's place. That's when I first met the Rangerettes and began to pursue my passion for horses. If you see me on a plane, you won't know I have FMS. But if you want to say 'hi" or exchange a smile or kind word, you can recognize me by my western boots and the Championship belt buckle I may be wearing. The buckle was given to me by my teammates out of appreciation for my hard work and support at the competition. Even they did not know I have FMS until this year.
I'm not going to slam you for your comments. I just wanted to put a face on the disorder. We all say things in the heat of the moment without thinking.
Were you thinking? Will you think now? Please, please help us turn this into something positive for the millions of FMS survivors who are NOT as fortunate as me. Who did not get the care they need or are lost and don't know where to turn. We need to raise awareness in a positive way. Can you help us with that?
Would you care to?
Please think of me often. I'll be the one riding the big black horse, knowing that tomorrow I'll pay for it, but living life in that moment.
Thanks, Dave.
Sincerely,


R. Dinse



To all my readers, I hope that this finds you well and looking forward to a blessed holiday season. If you take anything away from this blog, please let it be empathy and compassion for others. We can't know someone's circumstances unless we are walking in their shoes.

Blessings to you all!


Bobbie© Robynn “Bobbie” Dinse / Bobbie’s World Blogs

Please note that this short story is copyrighted and should not be reprinted in any form without permission from the author.  

Feel free to link to "Bobbie's World Blogs"

Thank you!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNKj7hmTgX8

Sorry, I Just Can't Make It Today

Originally Written: June 7, 2009

Vol. 1, Issue 4

Good Day, Friends! 

Today I’m touching on a couple of different topics that surround FMS.

1. Problems maintaining a schedule.

2. People who respond to our illness in cruel and insensitive ways.

We have all encountered people that say horrible insensitive things because they don’t, understand or believe that you have a serious illness. Some of these people may even be in our own family. They probably think “We look normal on the outside so how can we possibly be so sick that we need to be bedridden?” Or, “How can you possibly be unable to work? You say you are in pain, but we can’t see it so how can it be real?”

To us it is very real. Sometimes our pain is so bad we can’t think clearly or even get out of bed. The question these people constantly ask is, “How can we be fine one day and on the verge of hospitalization the next?”

For us it is very simple. We suffer, most often in silence, because it is easier to keep it to ourselves than it is to explain our struggles, pain and loss, just to have someone respond insensitively.

One of my biggest obstacles with FMS and migraines (my other major disabling condition) is not being able to schedule things in advance. I can never be certain that I won’t have to cancel at the last minute because of a flare or a migraine. I know that we all have been in this circumstance and it can be very frustrating. Especially if the person you are canceling on doesn’t understand your situation.

There have been times that I’ve rescheduled appointments more times than I can count. Now, if I cancel on my headache specialist? No problem. Cancel on my pain specialist? Again, there is no problem. It’s to be expected. Neither of my doctors want me to drive during a migraine or while I’m taking medication for breakthrough pain.

My biggest problem is always with the dentist. Dental appointments 9 times out of 10 trigger a bad migraine for me. All that buzzing around in my mouth or even just a routine cleaning sends me home sick. Many times just the anticipation causes enough stress to trigger a migraine, resulting in another rescheduled appointment. Of course they don’t get to see me with my head in the toilet so to them it just a bunch of drama to get out of keeping my appointment.

My last dentist had what I called the appointment Nazi’s. They called over and over and over and over to reschedule. If I had a morning appointment and had to cancel, they said, “Well why don’t you come in this afternoon?” Okay people. Most of us with severe chronic migraines know that you’re pretty much worthless for 24 hours AFTER the headache breaks. At least I am. My triptan makes me feel like I’ve run a marathon and the last thing I feel like doing is getting up, taking a shower and going to have some person dig around in my mouth, just to start the headache back up again.


These young girls just didn’t get it. No matter how many times and ways I tried to forewarn or explain. My last appointment I had to cancel they had the audacity to tell me to either come in or find someone to fill my appointment. I was furious. My husband was also outraged and he came home from work, picked me up, we went into the dentist’s office so they could see just how sick I was. My husband then proceeded to tell them they could go pound sand before they would EVER treat anyone in our family again. They lost four patients that day. The dentist, which I had seen since the age of 12, apologized profusely and said that I could just call on a day where I felt up to it and they would fit me in. I thought that sounded like a great plan. So we headed home, all the while I was struggling to keep the contents of my stomach IN my stomach. I assumed we had reached an agreement, although my husband stood firm that he and the boys would never go back to that clinic again.

A few days later I received a letter in the mail saying that they had the highest standard of care for their patients and because of this they were dropping me as a patient. HUH? What was that suppose to mean? Some poor little appointment clerk probably got a firm talking to and when I didn’t call within 3 days, she decided I could care less about my teeth and that I was not “good enough” for their practice. So, in total, the clinic lost a total of 5 patients in 3 days time due to one appointment clerk’s behavior. The dentist doesn’t get a pass either; after all, he signed the letter.

To this day I regret not responding to that letter. I was so upset that I was afraid I would get into a screaming match that would result in me needing to ask for forgiveness on many levels. So I let it go. I will not mention his name. I firmly believe I would be wrong to do so, as it would violate my Christian principles. The Bible says, “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.”

We all have to struggle with feeling semi-normal one day, then the next like we are near death. I try not to schedule morning appointments if possible because that tends to be the hardest part of my day; it is for most FMS patients. I don’t make commitments to serve on the board of my drill team; I always make sure there is a backup for any drill position I may ride…which only started this year [2009]. I have learned that I must “come out of the closet” so to speak and tell my friends that I have this disease. Some of them get it, some of them don’t. But that is their problem, not mine. It goes to their character and anyone who chooses to elevate themselves above another people on the basis of health is discriminatory and cruel. I know, those are strong words, even judgmental. God tells us “Judge not lest ye be judged.” But, we can see a person’s actions and if those actions fly in the face of God’s command to love one another, I think a little extra caution is advisable before opening your heart to someone like that.

My friends keep up the fight. Defend your right to be treated like a human being even though you fight this terrible disease. Remember never to give up your dreams, and never, EVER let someone else make you think less of who you are because of Fibromyalgia or any other invisible illness.

Have a blessed week!


Bobbie

© Robynn “Bobbie” Dinse / Bobbie’s World Blogs

Please note that this short story is copyrighted and should not be reprinted in any form without permission from the author

Feel free to link to “Bobbie’s World Blogs"

Thank you!

Life Doesn't End When You Have A Disability

Originally Written:  May 31, 2009

Vol. 1, Issue 2

Hi Everybody,

Today I wanted to share with you how my evening went.  Tonight we had youth team drill practice.  We have a rodeo coming up this weekend and Nationals are coming up the end of June.  I managed to stay on the horse and actually remembered all of the different moves in the drill.  Needless to say I had a wonderful time and for a few hours forgot all about this horrible disease.

As you know, I suffer from severe Fibromyalgia.  I have good days and I have bad days.  Today was one of those good days.  You couldn't tell the difference between a healthy person walking down the street or me!  My passion since I was a little girl has always been horses.  When I was young I collected the Breyer model horses because mom refused to let me put a pony in the back yard.  Go figure!

Anyway, my son and I ride with a local drill team.  Since my disease is so severe, I cannot ride on the drill team with the rest of the ladies.  On good days I can ride in the parades and I can help out with ground support during competitions and rodeos.  Where am I going with this?  Well, since 2005 I've been trying to control my horse at a lope and still be able to walk the next day.  I've managed to accomplish one of the two...guess which one!  Unfortunately, it’s only during the warm season and only on days that my Fibromyalgia is in agreement.   You all know that FMS has a mind of it’s own and what it decides to do ALWAYS takes lead role.

This year I have been asked to ride with the novice youth team in their competition this June.  I was elated but cautiously optimistic.  After explaining that there was a significant need to have a back up, just in case I was too weak on the day I needed to ride, I was told "No problem"!   So, my life long dream may finally be coming true.  Not only do I own a horse, I may actually be able to ride with the team in the drill.  I will be filling in this weekend at a rodeo, since there are 3 riders that cannot attend.  My first real live performance!  I'm both excited and terrified at the same time.  I'm sure I will be sore afterwards, but the more I ride, the less severe the pain is afterward.

It is very exciting for me and I hope that I can give others with this terrible disease hope that if they can find the right mix of medication and therapy, there lives don't have to be over.

I'm 41 years old.  I refuse to let this disease end my hopes and dreams.  Just because I may have to slow down and rest, I still have the God given right to dream and strive to reach the goals I have set for myself.

Have a blessed week everyone.  Remember to be thankful for your health.  We all don't have healthy strong bodies to lean on and even the strongest of people can have their health removed from them with one doctor’s visit.  Don’t waste your good days!   Rejoice in every day that you have and get out in the world and see God’s beauty!  It’s all around you.  All you have to do is open your eyes and your hearts and you will see the blessings that are there for you!

Bobbie

© Robynn “Bobbie” Dinse / Bobbie’s World Blogs

Please note that this short story is copyrighted and should not be reprinted in any form without permission from the author

Feel free to link to “Bobbie’s World Blog’s” 

                 

Thank you!